Autumn. The seasonal changes we observe happening around us are also happening within us. The leaves are aflame. Then they die back. The expansiveness of the summer heat now transitions to contraction……shorter days, and cooler temperatures. We bundle-up, spend more time indoors, isolate to some degree, and begin to think about how we can protect ourselves from colds and flu. Driven indoors, we may feel the urge to get rid of unnecessary clutter.
In Chinese Medicine, Autumn is associated with grief, sadness, and melancholy in the metal element. Metal is rigid and structured. Lung and Large Intestine are the paired meridians/organs in the Metal element, associated with the cyclical dying back that occurs in nature during the Autumn. We may be actually grieving a loss at this time. Or, we may find ourselves revisiting past losses for ‘no apparent reason’, as Autumn rolls around.
Let’s take a look at the many faces of grief through the lens of the Lung and Large Intestine in Chinese Medicine.
Lung, the “tender” organ, is the most external of the yin, (internal), organs. It is open to the outside via the nose and mouth and therefore susceptible to airborne illness. Lung is responsible for our Wei Chi, the protective chi on and around our skin. Our airways and our skin are key protective barriers between ourselves and our environment. Lung governs our skin, (the largest sense organ of the body), and our immune system.
Feeling a little thin skinned these days? Makes you want to withdraw from the fray, doesn’t it? Lung is associated with grief, withdrawal, hypersensitivity, and difficulty projecting the voice. Think about a time when you were grieving. How difficult was it sometimes to utter even a single word? Grief can render us speechless. Think of our sympathy cards…….”words do not convey….” How often have you thought to yourself when wanting to comfort someone in mourning, “I don’t know what to say.”?
Lungs are also associated with crying, sobbing. Imagine how the chest heaves during a good cry. Lungs house grief. Lungs are also responsible for inspiration, the drawing in of breath. Sobbing is an exaggerated drawing in of the breath. We feel the loss of a loved one for example, and often try to contain the overwhelming emotion that comes with it. We hold our breath. We speak less. Then the crying comes. Catharsis. Inspiration in a literal sense accompanies grief.
Many of our memorial rituals celebrate the life of one who passed. We feel inspired by their legacy at the same time that we are paralyzed by the loss. Grief and inspiration, expansion and contraction are a tag team, reflected in the innate movement of the lungs.
Large Intestine is also associated with grief, but more with the letting go aspect of things. When there is a loss, whether it is of a loved one, a pet, a job, a house, or an aspiration, there is a flux between paralysis, a psychic constipation if you will, and an urge to “put one’s house in order.” In one breath you cannot bring yourself to tackle going through the belongings of your recently deceased loved one. In the next breath you find yourself cleaning a closet, or finally bringing the loved ones clothes to Goodwill.
Large Intestine, like Metal, is reflective of a sense of structure, sometimes too much or too little. Our bowel movements are often associated with certain routines. We are probably less aware of just how routine they are when everything is going well. Sometimes the routines and whether we can (let) go or not can define what time we leave the house in the morning, or whether we dare to socialize and dine-out. It can be a challenge to balance structure and spontaneity. Even more so during times of loss, or resurgent loss. Our bowels can indicate when things are ‘right with the world’, and when they are not.
In grief we may find ourselves grasping for the routine, the predictable, to counterbalance the sense of chaos and meaninglessness we experience through the loss of someone or something that anchored our world. Large Intestine is responsible for both the appropriate storing and subsequent letting go of its contents. The reality of grief is a vacillation between expansion and contraction, structure and letting go reflected in the functions of both the Lung and the Large Intestine.
Some attention to the lungs and large intestine may be beneficial as you navigate the grieving process. Acupuncture can help with lung and large intestine disharmonies such as asthma, skin rashes, shortness of breath, bowel irregularities, and the grief that is housed by these organs.
In terms of self care, the lungs and the immune system can be strengthened by body brushing. As mentioned, the lungs govern the skin. Brush the entire body with a soft bristle brush to tonify the lungs.
For the large intestine, circle the outer abdomen 10-20 times in the clockwise direction with your hand. Curiously you may find yourself yawning, a testament to the relationship between the lungs and large intestine. This abdominal massage besides helping to move the bowels, can help move emotions that get trapped when the breath is retained. It’s also great for helping you fall back to sleep.
Remember, grief is a normal response to a loss. It is not a diagnosis or disease state.
“Twinges and waves of grief after a death or loss is simply the response of an informed heart.”
Quote by Kim Painter.
Most grief will be experienced with a periods of isolation and reflection, combined with seeking comfort in the company of others and resuming daily routines. Nonetheless, the medical establishment now recognizes a condition associated with disabling grief. This is referred to as “prolonged grief disorder”, or “complicated grief.” There is no time stamp on grieving. However, disabling grief that persists more than a year can be considered “prolonged grief disorder”. Complicated grief is grief that is compounded by prior losses and traumas and/or by underlying depression for example.
“When grief lingers and robs life of its meaning, it’s time to get help.”, according to Kim Painter, writing for the AARP.
This blog is not a replacement for medical help and support during the grieving process. Please seek medical attention if you suspect that you are suffering from prolonged or complicated grief disorder. Please refer to the sources below for guidance on grief, mourning, and bereavement.
Sources:
https://psychcentral.com/health/mourning-vs-grief
W.A.I.T. is the suggested approach to comforting someone in their grief. It stands for, “Why am I talking? Before speaking when you are struck speechless, ask yourself a couple of questions: What question can I ask to better understand what the grieving person is saying? How might I become comfortable with the silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?
https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/health/info-2023/coping-prolonged-grief.html
https://www.verywellmind.com/bereavement-definition-symptoms-causes-traits-treatment-5197038
https://www.hospiceofsouthernmaine.org/support-groups
https://namimaine.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/2024-Grief-Support-Groups.-In-person-Online.pdf
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/complicated-grief/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20360389